Wake up late. Get ready for the day. Do your hair and make up to impress people that will never matter to you. Keep a smile on your face, even though you’re hating every minute of it. Go home. Talk to the same person til they fall asleep. Stay up late by yourself.
The closer the day of my move to California comes, the more I realize what I’ll truly miss about this small town in Oregon. I will miss the small town feel where you know someone everywhere you go. I will miss the smell of the first rain. I will miss having a yard. I will miss not having to pay sales tax and having someone pump my gas for me. But then I find myself despising every second that I have to be here. Here, in this town of people everyone knows everything about, even when they’ve never met them. This town that everywhere you go, you’ve already been countless times. Nothing is new, the same people hang out with the same people, going to the same kind of jobs, doing the same kind of leisure activities.
Moving to a town where I know ONE single person, and that person knows as much as the town we’re moving to as I do, sounds nothing short of perfect right now. I want to go to a town where I actually enjoy hanging out with certain people, rather than hanging out with people cause they’re the only people left in town. Making memories in places we never knew existed. Eating at places that don’t serve breakfast food all throughout the day. Having a space to call my own, decorating it however I see fit, sharing it with the ONE person I think I could tolerate living with. I am so glad February is soon approaching on us.
I feel like living in this town is like putting a vice on my head.. It just keeps squeezing and squeezing my brain until I can’t take it anymore, and it just explodes. You start feeling like you really don’t know the people you liked to call ‘friends’ all throughout high school. People start to make their own agendas, and you’re never a part of it. If you don’t move from this place right out of high school, you lose friends, charisma, general interest in group activities, in LIFE. And if you do eventually find yourself leaving here, you come back. They always come back.
I refuse to be a Grants Pass statistic. I will make it outside of this town, and never look back.
I will live in a uniquely decorated HOUSE, with my beautiful HUSBAND, we will have our NICE cars, and have jobs we DON’T hate going to everyday. I will dwell in the SUN and be able to RIDE my bike to the beach. I will GREET neighboors with house warming gifts and attempt to make HOMEMADE dinners with my love. We will be SPONTANEOUS, we will laugh LOUD, we will CUDDLE til the afternoon. I will LOVE our life with all my heart, this I already know.
I will miss little Grants Pass, Oregon. I will not miss most of everything that goes along with it.